Quiet on the Homefront

I know I was quiet last week, and that things have seemingly slowed down a bit. To be fair, I didn’t have much choice. In fact, in light of the busy week ahead, I was hit with a migraine over the weekend and Monday. Apparently, I internalize stress even more than I thought, and I have to find a way to get on top of it. In dealing with the health crisis that blindsided me in January, I find I can’t take on too much at once; I simply don’t have the bandwidth for it. So while I’ve been pouring myself into my writing, healing, and putting one foot forward in front of the next, I’ve been forsaking other things a bit. But I’m hitting a groove again – one that feels familiar. The one I hit in 2021 and 2022. The one where I found bliss and love and pure, unadulterated joy for writing. The one that made me want to write almost constantly. And it might be the most alive I’ve felt in months. These health issues are still being figured out (and hopefully healing), but my head has been clear enough to sit down and write…and really enjoy it.

I cranked out the original manuscript for The Contract within a few months, but now it is undergoing a massive revision. I’m not only dissecting the story, but rearranging it, adding depth and spice to the characters, and a few more detailed twists to the plot. And it’s so much fun! I’m back to taking these characters with me wherever I go, losing myself in their world during commutes…or naps. I’m not much of a napper, but I have been known to lay down on the couch for extended periods of time and close my eyes. I might fall asleep if I’m very tired, but what I’m really doing is planning my stories. Or sometimes, rather, meeting my characters in their stories and letting them reveal to me what they want. There’s only so much I do before they wind up taking over and dictating how the story goes. That’s the place I like to be most when it comes to writing - engulfed in a world that comes alive with people and plots that make it feel like I’m watching someone else live their life. A world that becomes so tangible that sometimes, I have to pull myself out of it when circumstances are heavy and emotions are high – and realize those are not my feelings, but those of my characters.

I could have entered this manuscript into a contest – one that is closing today or tomorrow, I can’t remember. I thought long and hard about…really long and hard. I went back and forth so many times, all while trying to balance my other job and doctor’s appointments and life. It wasn’t an unrealistic deadline when I started, and I scaled back my goals enough to be able to make that one – so I thought. But as the time drew near, it became more and more clear that what I needed most was to slow down and relax. Not just because I needed rest for rest’s sake, but to allow myself to focus and heal. So here I sit, slowly plugging away at the work before me during an absurdly busy week, trying not to be overwhelmed by it all, with the joy of writing to keep my company.