Why George?

I know I’ve said it a few times already, and I’ll say it again. George (the male lead in my current story) is my favorite. Not my favorite love interest – my favorite character. It’s not that I have a crush on him – he’s not overly swoony or suave and I’m actually a little concerned readers won’t love him as much as I do. That’s ok – I love him enough for all of us! But why do I have such an affinity for this one character? Well, because he’s so relatable to me.

I was talking with a girlfriend months ago about all my stories, current and upcoming. She asked me which of my characters was the most like me. I cycled through all my female leads and gave her my best guess, but it was still a stretch. Weeks later it finally dawned on me, seemingly out of nowhere (although I think about my characters frequently, even when I’m not writing). I even texted my husband in my excitement. It was George; George is the most like me.

What in the world would I have in common with a thirty-something, wealthy, lonely business owner?

George has always struggled to fit in. He sets his own rules, and he doesn’t let anyone else have a say. Being morally minded and strongly principled, even as a child, he not only found it difficult to relate to others but was eventually ostracized by his family for his beliefs. As an adult, he is a bit awkward and withdrawn, having accepted his place of isolation in the world. After all, it’s Heaven he’s after and that’s all that really matters. But George longs for that human connection, despite his Heavenly calling. He longs to show people the love and generosity he harbors for them, but he struggles to express it.

Did I subconsciously write him with my own wounded heart? It’s possible. I’ve known the depths of rejection, and I can say I never really felt accepted in life until I was in my thirties and did the work to find my place in the world. I spent so many years feeling frustrated at being so different that I could not find true friends, or that I had to hide myself to please people (something George did not resort to doing). Although he remained steadfast, George never confronted his past and has let it dampen his ability to relate to and love people. He stayed in his hurt and did his best to get by, letting only a few people in far enough to see what others are missing – a deeply loving heart in want of an outlet.

It's not that he and I are just alike, or that I don’t relate to my other characters. He’s simply the most like me – so much so that, if I try to imagine the story from his point of view, I automatically switch to first person.

So, as you see, I really can’t help it. I just love George. Maybe it’s proof I’m learning to love myself.